it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
