My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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