some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
