What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
