id be glad to
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
