When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
