dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
