you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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