i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
