i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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