How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
