dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
