It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
