You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The air was thick with penises
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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