Your dad touched me again.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
