This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
