Why are handjobs necessary in class?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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