she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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