No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
