He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
