my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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