i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
