In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
