oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
