If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
