flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
