i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
