FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
