Whod you bang
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
