dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
