The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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