Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
