Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
