since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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