You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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