Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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