airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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