I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
