I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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