Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I faked an abortion last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
