i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
