i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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