they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
