i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
