i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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