no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
