I'm jealous of your bromance
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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