just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
foreskin is a definite game changer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
