Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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