i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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