do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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