Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
