Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm passing your future prison.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
