found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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