I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
